The Church and Single Parenting in Africa

Single parenting involves a sole parent who cares for children without the help of the other parent. The challenge of single parenting has negative effects on parents and the children alike. The death of a spouse, divorce, wars desertion, rape, sexual harassment and violent crisis are factors for this debacle. In such situation, the remaining parent not only inherits the responsibilities of the missing parent, but also takes custody of their children, in addition to his/her own roles as father or mother. Marriage ought to be imbibed as a standard for a godly society. Single parenting is not a thing to joke with or take with levity because of its scorching heat on both parents and children. Without mincing words, this phenomenon is eating deep into the African society; this makes the response of the Church logical. The study posits that it is important for African Christians to understand the biblical stance concerning marriage; so that intentional act of single parenting can be curbed.

is part of creative plan of God for the world and the family becomes one of the foundations of humans." (Note 5) Procreation is God's mandate to man; thus, children are seen as gifts of God. So the upbringing of the children should is the duty of parents. (Note 6) The family is the foundation of human society. (Note 7) A person becomes in the society is laid in the home and at the initial stage of life.
(Note 8) Parents have important role to play in seeing to it that their children acquire the appropriate parenting. (Note 9) In the contemporary African society are encountering challenges in terms of parenting. (Note 10) So, being a single parent in our society is a double task. Parents ought to be models, teachers and counselors. African system of raising children has changed a great deal, with the advent of industrialization and globalization.
Culturally, when an old man dies, measures were laid down to curb the situation. A single mother, for instance, would be married off to an old man as a second or third or even fourth wife or a woman who loses her husband can be inherited by her husband's brother. The society would co-operate in ensuring that a widower re-marry. It did not matter if such a single parent was young or advanced in age. The community would do all it takes to get a wife for him with or without his co-operation. In any case, since polygamy was common and allowed in African society, to be a single parent was a rare phenomenon. (Note 11) In Africa, the existence of single parenting was uncommon. Nowadays, it is a fast growing family pattern. (Note 12) The challenges of single parenting includes; bitterness towards the absent spouse, anger, loneliness, poverty and insecurity about raising children alone without a help. It is also unfortunate that some churches which are expected to provide succour to this set of people also fail in their responsibilities. The social stigma, financial hardship, shame and mockery single parents go through call for attention. The challenges of single parenting as mentioned above pose a big challenge African context. It is on this premise that this research explores the biblical perspective in search of a viable response of the Church.

Concept of Parenthood
Parenthood is a phenomenon that has always been in existence and is as old as mankind. A parent is one who births and nurtures a child. (Note 13) Although the common caregiver in parenting is the biological parents, others such as older sibling, grandparent, legal guardian or relatives also have their roles. (Note 14) Parenting practices around the world share three major goals: ensuring children's health and safety, preparing children for life as productive adults, and transmitting cultural values. The word 'parenting', from its root, is more concerned with the activity of developing and educating of a child that who facilitates it. (Note 15) The connotation of the word is that parenting is a positive, nurturing activity. (Note 16) It is within a family that a child learns the fundamentals of social interactions, behavior pattern and basic personality structure. (Note 17) Effective parenting is about nurturing, raising godly children and helping them discover and fulfill their purpose on earth. (Note 23) Parenting is not only about giving birth to a child but also working to ensure that the child becomes what God intends him or her to be on earth. Parenting is a huge task enormous, caring and protection, providing basic amenities of food, clothing, shelter, education and love, being around to support their children emotionally and to see that the inherent potential of the child is realized.
Just like Africans, every Jewish parent aspires to raise their children to be kind and responsible. In the Jewish Society, the father has a responsibility of teaching the male child the Pentateuch (Decalogue) before he gets to age of twelve. (Note 24) By so doing, the child's mind is built with the fear of Yahweh, the God of the Jewish patriarchs. In order to feed the family, the man work in the fields or at a village craft, while the women and children work to keep the home. (Note 25) The combination of the role of both mothers and fathers in the Jewish society was highly upheld in such a way that when their child misbehaves, the parents are blamed and even punished along with the child. (Note 26) This forms the bases on how God expects every parent to train their children. God's expectation is that both the father and mother should jointly train wards.

Concept of Single Parenting
Single-parenthood means one parent raising his/her child or children. Single parents can be young girls who have pregnancy at tender age, women who want a child but not a partner, a parent deserted or divorced by a spouse, widows or widowers left to care for young children. atmosphere. Children of single parents mature early than children from intact homes. Children from single parents exceptionally achieve in their academic endeavours since the goal of single-parent family is raising a child who is free from undue anxiety to play and learn.
The fact that single parenting is purse sapping and energy consuming cannot be denied. In spite of whatever reasons, the challenges are seriously enormous on the parent and children. The ideal is that both parents take a share in raising children, but they assume different roles. The children from single parent families grow up to understand that life without a father or mother is somewhat incomplete and different from life in the intact family. They miss the love, care and model of a family enjoyed where the family shares together in love. There is nothing as good as parents being together with their children sharing daily in the good atmosphere of love and understanding each other.

Africans and Single Parenting
Single parenting in African societies is viewed as a curse rather than a blessing; it is often attributed to ill luck, spell or witchcraft especially when the husband passes on at an early age. In present day African societies, a single mother is prepared for several uncomfortable situations, or disapproving comments from strangers, co-workers and family members. Many times a woman living alone is seen as loose. There are many traditional pressures on widows in Africa which subject them to a life time of discrimination. The lack of care has reduced the single parent to a lower status in the society. (Note 46) For example in Yoruba land, widow is restricted of movement for a certain period. The Yoruba tradition puts the widows in a conferment for the first three months to mourn their husbands. The widows are forbidden to go out in the day time except at night and must be escorted by a member of the family.
Also, the only dress suitable for the widows during mourning period is a black or dark blue without any serious make-up. She must not dress or look beautiful or else she will be accused of killing her husband.
Shaving of head is another traditional pressure experienced by the widows to inform people that the woman is a widow and this will earn her not only recognition but sympathy as well. (Note 47) In some African communities, the widow is married off to the husband's brother especially if she still young irrespective of her feeling. If she refuses to remarry one of the family members, she is driven out of the house and at same time is left alone to shoulder the burden of the children. If eventually the widow remarries from the same family, she is forced to readjust. She becomes one of the several wives of the new husband. She, who was used to nuclear family life style, would now be forced into polygamous family with challenges like fighting, quarrelling, pettiness, envy and jealousy. (Note 48) Another unfair treatment to single parent families by the society is the problem of widow disinheritance which is prevalent anywhere in Nigeria. Single women suffer property grabbing from the hands of their late husband's relatives. The assets the husband and wife struggled to acquired, when the man eventually dies, family members who are greedy, heartlessly take everything and leaves the widow and her children with nothing.

Biblical View on Single Parenting
Single parenting is not only practiced today, it was practiced in the Bible. From the beginning God's plan was that there should be two parents (Gen 1:27  of the Apostles to effectively minister to the needs of widows. They had a distinct group of women called "widows" dedicated to prayer and intercession. (Note 63) Also, widows in some churches were engaged in charitable works such as hospitability and working at wool to assist those in distress. (Note 64) Clear enough, widows in the early church were active in the body of Christ, communicating the love of Christ by deeds of mercy and hospitality. (Note 65) The early church did not discriminate against single women, but accepted them and guided them to live a holy life. (Note 66) The mandate of the church is to train all its members to fear the Lord and to live right. The church should accommodate both the married and single parents and as well promote fellowship among them. Single parents should be taught to understand that God loves them unconditionally. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world…" (Jam 1:27). James is prescribing nothing new for the church; caring for orphans and single parents should be a ministry of the African church today. Any practice of Christianity that does not exhibit this concern is deceptive and worthless. (Note 67)

Challenges of Single Parenting in Africa
The challenge of single parenting is a serious one on both the parents and wards. A single parent faces The child's physical appearance, his abilities and parental involvement in things he does well are other factors involved in the development of healthy self-esteem. Environments also affect a child's self-esteem. When the parents separate, the child loses a part of his self-esteem support system. (Note 71) They may crave for affections, which they will not get enough because of the parent's busy schedule. Children from single parent families often do not get the affection they need. They do not enjoy complete parental love and care. They feel inferior, rejected, unwanted, and unsuccessful in the midst of other children.
Since the children cannot get what they want; anger is a way to deal with frustration. Their anger may In Africa, many single mothers especially widows are confronted with the problem of seizure of their diseased husband's property. They experience frustrating, degrading and dehumanizing crisis.
Sometimes the widow and her children may be kicked out of the house and the property taken over by family members. Some traditions willed every valuable property to the relatives as soon as the husband dies. The widow is left with the children's clothes and a few things considered not useful to the family.
This tradition of inheritance and asset sharing does not put into consideration the role played by the woman in the accumulation of the property left behind by the deceased husband.
In Africa, men are most the breadwinners of the house. Most African women are completely house wives without any education or job. So, a lot of single parents left with poverty after death, divorce, desertion or any reason responsible for being a single parent. The problem of illiteracy, lack of education and training contributes to the poverty of single parents in Africa. This is why some single mothers abandon their wards with their parents in the village and run to urban areas to do menial jobs.

Conclusion
Parenting is a collective responsibility of both the father and mother in raising children. Single parenting is never the plan of God for mankind. It is never supported nor has its base in the Bible. The parents must unite together in training their children for the good of the family and society. The menace of single parenting is a threat to Christian faith in Africa. Many single parents in African today are not as a result of death. Meanwhile, discrimination against single parents continues in the African contemporary society. This is so probably because the church is not intensifying enough to combat the ungodly pressures against the belief of the church.
In Africa, any church that does not develop ministry to single parenting is certainly not following the examples of Jesus and early church. God is very clear in His concern and love for single parents and (a) Churches in Africa should teach sound biblical understanding of marriage. To avoid persistent marital conflicts which may lead to divorce, pastors need to prepare the intending couples for marriage and not wedding and also programmes that will foster better relationship.
(b) Marriage and sanctity of the marital vows should be well taught to help to put a check on the excess of divorce which gives birth to single parenting.
(d) African Churches should have proper consideration for single parents. Pastors and Church leaders should adequately teach members concerning the importance of will writing, which relatives of the deceased often takes advantage. This can also be extended to single parents outside the church.
(i) Children of single parents should be given the needed encouragement. They should be allowed to talk freely about their problems, feelings and fears.